Everyday is Groundhog day in Iraq

Merry Christmas!

2005-12-23T20:55:00.000+03:00

Considering everything that is currently going on, I am guessing that this will be my only chance to post something for the holidays. This one really snuck up on me….. I am usually on Christmas red-alert shortly after Thanksgiving, sometimes as early as Halloween, just so I am never caught unaware. This year however, it seems like Christmas will come and go like any other day. I have a reenlistment to conduct on Christmas, which means I most certainly will be working, which negates the chance for a holiday. It should be fun none the less though. Every holiday the chow hall goes all out. There is usually so much food, that there is no way you could try everything. Not that it’s great…. It’s like eating over at your friends house that isn’t that great of a cook, but you eat anyways because you don’t want to make her feel bad. Everything is kinda bland and they seem to put curry in everything! That and taco seasoning. I need to get a picture of the tree that is outside the chowhall. They made it out of empty MRE boxes and green cammie netting. They strung lights around it and the Hoji’s made a sleigh with deer to go in front of it. They probably had no idea what a reindeer are suppose to look like, which is probably why they ended up looking like sheep with antlers pulling Santa’s sleigh. It’s actually adorable.
Me and the Gy have resisted the urge to decorate the office and have feigned off all attempts of other offices to pawn off their Christmas goodies on us. No chocolate or cookies to be found. We are both on a health kick now, since he got diagnosed with diabetes and I am staying away from sweets to be supportive.
I am calling a Mulligan on this Christmas season as a whole which is why I am not stressing. I did the same thing for my birthday. When I get back to the states, I am having a Mulligan celebration, encompassing all the events that were either missed entirely or FUBR’d. I want to create a banner that says “Happy Mulligan!” I am inviting only other people who were directly affected by what I have come to call the “The Birthday Gehad”. Every person I know out here could not have had a worse birthday. I got in trouble on my Birthday with my work. My buddy Champion was hit by a VBIED. That was the one with all the females in the convoy that was all over the news…. Yeah, that was Champs B-day. Seymour had issues of his own and Gy spent it all by himself. We are a sad lot, the four of us. This Christmas the crew out here is scattered to the winds as well. That’s why I think this Mulligan Celebration could really catch on. Marines have a habit of partying too hard upon return to the states. Most spend every single dime they saved while out here within a month on nothing but booze and strippers. With the Mulligan, there will be partying with a purpose, which is entirely different than getting smashed just because you have been sober for the last year. Anyways, so that is the plan. I am thinking I am going to continue this blog for the period of time that my command stays together in the rear, to document the return and reunion process….. I am sure I will have great pictures!
I emailed my family an absurdly long email yesterday. Sometimes I wonder if I use up all the good stuff I want to say in email on my blog and other times, I wonder if I am using up all my creativity in emails….
In the news already is Rumsfeld and his reduction of our numbers…. It makes sense then that he was out here recently. Good PR with the troops, so we wont notice the loss in numbers, which means less chances of getting promoted and fewer boatspaces for reenlistment while everything is stabilizing….. thanks! Coming all the way over here to shake some hands at the chowhall made up for that bigtime!

I thought this cartoon was funny….. the only thing is that there is no way that 3 guys in Hoji garb, thumbing for a ride carrying anything would be able to get that close to a convoy. That has hostile intent written all over it! I can almost read the spot report now……2/7 engaged 3 MAM’s carrying an unknown type of device. 2 EKIA, 1 EWIA Medevac’d to Fallujah Surg in critical condition….. something of that nature sounds about right…..

In response to an interesting post I just got.....

2005-12-16T11:42:00.000+03:00

Not more than 10 minutes after I had posted my last post, I received an interesting comment.
I am going to quote him, as he quoted me....
I had posted earlier "it's the fact that we keep trying that matters most."
He commented: "it's the fact that we refuse to understand the fact that EVERYONE keeps trying that perpetuates war, and probably your inner conflict. "
It lead me to ponder if everyone in fact continues to try. Do we try hard enough?
While I was in Cpls course, the instructor led us in a discussion about why we are out here and whether or not we should just go home. The response from the class was interesting. Alot of Marines felt that we were butting in where we didn't belong. That we need to mind our own business and let other countries worry about themselves and fight their own battles. That we are staying and helping a country that no longer wants our help or us here at all. I disagreed and this is why. I will be the first to tell you that when it comes to politics, I am not exactly a scholar. I don't really watch the news too much. I joke and say that if I watch the news then it is like peeking before Christmas and I would much rather be surprised by the next round of deployments rather then following all the different tragedies all over and wondering which one I will end up helping with. That's no fun. I am no idiot though. I have been out here long enough to know first hand a little bit about Iraq and it's people. I have been out to the city's. I have talked to the locals here. I keep myself just informed enough to be able to make informed judgments without driving myself crazy.
The people here both want and need us. The representatives they currently have, in my opinion, are not very good representatives of the local populous. The people here are dirt poor and live in fear all the time. Family is the most important thing to them. They lost faith in their government and it's ability to take care of them a long time ago. Local Sheiks run things around here.... more like the mob ran old Chicago. When Saddam fell out of power, these local tribesmen saw this as an opportunity. They were in power before and men who have had power are never happy until they have it again. The tribesmen want the US out because then it allows them to be as corrupt in their decision making as they would like. They can hire everyone in there families in political offices and government jobs and we would be back where we started. We are here to guide these people. The citizens of Fallujah are largely appreciative of our efforts. They know that we are hear trying to make it safer for them. Women have come up to me and given me hugs and pinched my checks. Men have come up to me to shake my hand and then tell me I am too pretty to be here and that I need to go home and make babies. I don't take offense to this, because I know that in there culture, having children is the most important thing you can do. As a whole the people are genuine and interesting and educated. I guess college was free out here. But this country is a shit hole if, if you would pardon the expression. It is hot as hell in the summer. Gets cold as hell at night. The dirt is like a fine power clay mixed with sand. If it were all sand then it wouldn't have the sand storms that they have. When it rains, which it rarely does, everything turns into this horrible sucking mud. This is the only place that I know of that smells worse after it rains. After the dust settles and isn't clogging your nose, you can smell the filth in the air. The people live in complete poverty for the most part. It makes you wonder why anyone would want to stick around and fight for a place like this. I would just leave. I would take the wife and Ali 1, Ali 2, Ali3, little Habib, and junior and the goat and leave. But the people love their country. Maybe because they have fought so hard for so long that they don't want to give up. Who knows. The thing Americans don't realize though, when they talk about pulling out is this. Right now this country is weak. It can't police it's own streets let alone defend its borders. If we pull out, that would leave it open to invasion and all we have done is set them up for failure.
I think it is amazing how far they have come. I am no history buff, but if you think about how long it was between when we declared our independence and when we actually had a functioning government and constitution, I think it was something like 13 years, right? Give or take? It has been only a little over 3 years.
I know that sometimes what people want and what they need are two different things. Does that mean we are playing daddy right now,....maybe. There are more things at stake here then right or wrong or politics or my life. There are many many lives at stake. How much is it worth to ensure that the adorable little girl that came up to me and gave me a hug and kiss and thanked me, is alive tomorrow. How much is her happiness worth? Is it worth any less than that of an American child? I know that we can't save everyone. I know that there is suffering everywhere. But you have to pick and choose your battles. This is the one we have drawn. We can't give up because by giving up, we are giving up on much more than our policies. We are throwing living, breathing individuals to the wolves.
Anyways, to answer the question though that was posed.... I don't think that everyone tries. If we did then I don't think that we would be the only ones so invested in this war. We are not the only ones with assets enough to make a difference. Why are we the ones that are laying our lives on the line? At some point, you have to decide what you believe in and stick by it and put up or shut up. I am sick of people crying about all the problems of the world. We can all do so much. We are not just one person trying to make a difference. You are one person, but I idea is bigger than yourself. If everyone did something to make the world better, to help human suffering, if we all tried more, then they could put me out of a job. War is caused by human suffering. It is caused by injustice. It is caused by selfishness. Everyone is not trying.
I think though that maybe what he meant though, is that everyone is just trying to live their lives in peace. I can understand that. Everyone is trying to build a better life for their families. But no, I don't think that many people are actually reaching outside of themselves to try to help someone else and make things better. I love America. While I agree that there is so much wrong with what we do, there is also so much right. I think that America is a young country and maybe because of that, so much like a young person, we are idyllic. I think our hearts as a whole are in the right place. I am not saying that the policy makers hearts are always in the right place when they propose things.... I am saying that the American people as a whole actually do care. When I came home from R&R, at the Atlanta airport I was greeted by hundreds of Americans clapping their hands and cheering for us. Are they happy with Bush or the politics or the idea of the whole war, maybe not. They were proud of us though, of our sacrifice, maybe because they know that we are acting as an extension of our American ideals. We are trying to make a difference out here. You can't tell me that every Marine is just following orders. We all believe in something. There are ways to get sent home, if you really want to. We all believe in something, if not in each other. I think I have gone on a very long tangent now..... the point is.... I don't really agree with President Bush, I didn't even vote for him, but he is my commander and chief and was elected by the majority of the people. I don't have to agree with his reasoning to know that we do need to be here. I don't have to agree with the execution to know that in the end, we are doing the right thing. I am not a democrat, I am not a republican. I try not to vote with any one party, but for the right man for the job. Anyways, that all I have to say about that for now..... whew! I hope my thoughts were cohesive enough for at least some of you to understand....

Think I broke the wings off that little song bird, Now she's never gonna fly to the top of the world....

2005-12-16T11:12:00.000+03:00

I just got done with the leadership course out here and have been extremely busy with that, so I apologize again for not updating everyone sooner. As you can tell by my last post, I was feeling really down for a while. I am doing much better now though. I remember when I first got out here it was the same thing.... it took a good month or so in order to get in the swing of things and to quit missing home. I think it was the same thing when I came back from R&R. The whole thing was a horrible trick pulled by the Marine Corps. If you stay out here they promise you 2 weeks of vacation. All you really get is enough time on an airplane to make you never want to travel again and 2 weeks of spending far too much money that goes by far to quickly and then you are back here wishing you wouldn't have wasted your time and counting down the days until you go home for real. If I could have done it again, I think I would have just gone to Kuwait and spent some time at one of those cushy army bases for a while and then come back. Oh well, live and learn.
So I am back in full swing. I signed myself up for that leadership course to give myself the kick in the butt that I needed and some motivation to get over the hump. It really did the trick. Hopefully, I didn't worry everyone too much. Some of the problems I was having with some people were fixed, other friendships that were holding me back were ended so life is grand right now.
I have started on a serious country music kick. So strange to me.... I never would have guessed it. It's all I listen to now! Obsessively almost really! It's like the exact opposite of the stuff I use to listen to... Green Day, Jet, Modest Mouse, Death Cab, Maroon 5, Keane... stuff like that. Who knew?!Deep inside me there is a barefoot, redneck girl with braided pigtails and a raccoon for a pet desperately trying to get out....

Pray that your loneliness may spur you into finding something to live for, great enough to die for.

2005-11-18T17:08:00.000+03:00

I really like the quote in the title. If only we could all find that one thing. Why am I out here? I don't believe in this cause enough to die for it. I guess I believe it my country though and support it and you can't just say something like that. You can't pick and choose when you will or wont love your country. Either you do or you don't and I guess those that do are willing to pay the price for living in such a blessed place. I really think America is the most beautiful country in the world and although it's not perfect, it's the fact that we keep trying that matters most. I wonder if those that have paid the price though would look back from where they are and say it was worth it.

I don't know why but today I am feeling so alone and trapped. I go through really big mood swings out here. There are times when I am perfectly happy to be out here and then there are times when it feels like the walls are pressing in on me and I just want to be able to get out and be with loved ones. Today is one of those days where I definitely don't write my parents or call home, because they would worry about me. I think it's just normal to every once in a while be hit by the realization of where I am at, what I am doing and it makes me feel so separated from everyone, not only by distance, but also because the people who are out here with me will move on and yet they are the only ones that will really understand the experience. I keep my chin up for the most part and I make the best of it..... I always do no matter where I am at and you would think I would be use to this by now. I think since I came back from R&R it's been harder on me. It made me realize how fake people can be out here and it made me miss the real world. Everyone leans on each other, so for the most part everyone acts like they are your friend, when in reality if you weren't trapped out here with them, you would never talk to them and you both know it. It makes you miss your real friends and real relationships. I am just feeling low and I know that tomorrow I will wake up and feel much better and that maybe I just need to drink more water and get more sleep. I miss home. I miss my family. I wonder to myself if I should have gone home and visited them. I miss my best friend and I want to give them all a big hug. I feel like I have changed out here so drastically that when I get home, things wont be the same at all. What's funny, is besides this, I also keep a journal that I write REALLY personal stuff in and I haven't written in that since I got back. I just don't have the heart to. I guess for reasons that I can't name over the internet, I am just brokenhearted. Completely broken hearted and disappointed. I haven't been writing on here when I feel like this, but I guess I realized that it's going to give the misconception that everything is always just peachy over here with me and that it's not that bad. For the most part it isn't, but it can be really challenging out here from time to time too. There are such huge ups and downs and the roller coaster of it all is exhausting. One day I could be attending a memorial service for a fellow Marine and the next minute I am expected to just brush it off and keep doing my job. My job entails dealing with people everyday and being persuasive and convincing people to stay in the Marine Corps and sometimes I just don't think I should be talking to anyone. Anyways, tomorrow I will be better so don't fret. Just one of those days that you should have never rolled out of the sheets is all and the rest of the day you spend it regretting that you did. Should have just stayed in bed. I was comfortable and I wasn't thinking about anything but pretty pink and blue thoughts.

Even a fool is considered wise when he holds his tongue....

2005-11-15T20:30:00.000+03:00

So I posed the question on my profile and I decided it deserved further dissection. It is an insight into the world of a Marine. The question is: If the Marines battle cry and answer to pretty much every question is "oorah", then what would be the equivalent in the civilian world? I don't know how it started, or how it became the all consuming motto that it is but really I wonder if anyone else besides Marines understand this phenomenon. I am sure other services make fun of us for it, because it does kinda make us sound stupid. Seriously, oorah can answer pretty much anything we ever need to say. As you walk by someone in the morning, we are suppose to say "good morning" or something to that extent. Most of the time though, you can just nod your head in their direction and kinda grunt an "oorah" at them and you should be good. If someone asks if you understand a question, instead of saying yes, you can just say oorah. You can add it at the end of every sentence, if your really motivated. Oorah means hello, oorah means goodbye, it means yes, it means that I am present when my name is called during role call, it is a sign of respect, and depending on how smart ass you sound when you say it, it can be disrespectful. It is ridiculous how much we use one word. Really, I think it is just sheer laziness. You don't have to think much about what you are saying, and the person who you are talking to will have no idea that you have not put much thought into the statement. You could be dead asleep, walking the 1/4 mile in the middle of the night to get to the bathroom and while passing someone, mutter an oorah, if only because it was programmed in your hardwiring sometime in bootcamp. I remember at night, during bootcamp, we would have a roving watch called a fire watch while everyone was sleeping and the recruits would shout out "OOOOOoooorahhhh!" and scare the shit out of you as you were walking around and you would turn around and find that the person would be dead asleep.
Anyways, this blog is starting to bore me, so I am changing the subject. It is 2100 or 9 pm, and I am still at my office, typing away because I don't want to go back to my room yet. I broke my portable DVD player, which means no movies for me until I give up and decide to spend more hard earned cash on another hoji DVD player that will no doubt break right away. My only consolation is the cash I am saving by buying the black market DVD's from the hoji gift store. Within a couple of days of a movies release in the theaters, we will have the DVD available for purchase. Not the best of quality, but for less then the price of a movie ticket. I watch far, far too many movies. I have been visiting Braleigh's blog and I am debating whether it would be wise to dip into the Bollywood market. What if I like it? Can I really afford any more of my time to be devoted to watching movies?
So I don't even know why I started this post. I really have nothing to talk about today, but it is late, there is no one to talk to but I am feeling very talkative.... my poor roommate is sick of hearing me go off as soon as I come in at night when she is trying to watch the OC on her DVD player that does work. She hasn't said as much but I am starting to get the not so subtle hint of her turning up the TV louder as she is mumbling "uh huh". Nights like this I miss my poker buddies. I miss alot of people from the last unit. I haven't really had time to get to know these guys, since I have been on R&R for almost a month, with travel time. I am starting to get sleepy though and I am dreading the walk back. It has started to get really cold at night, dipping down into the 40's, which feels so, so cold in comparison to the weather I have grown accustomed to. I must sign off though because I have promised myself that I would wake up on time tommorow. Peace and chicken grease. And damn it! No more comments from people advertising cigerette stuff! What the hell!

Keep Off The Ass!

2005-11-15T20:22:00.000+03:00

I am posting this up in my office, as soon as I can get my claws on a color printer....

Fishin in the Dark photo

2005-11-12T14:23:00.000+03:00

Does this ever happen anywhere else? You gotta love the south!

Back from the dead! Or just back from R&R and wishing I was dead..... either way

2005-11-11T11:54:00.000+03:00

I had gotten an email from some of the people who actually look at my blog prior to me leaving on R&R saying "what the fuck chuck, how about an update". So I feverishly slaved away, typing until my fingers were raw and as I reread the blog I had created, I knew it was a work of art and that nothing could have topped that one perfect post...... then my network out here took a crap on me before I could save it or post it and I was left so dejected I didn't post anything before I went on leave back to the states. So for those of you that give a shit, no I am not dead, far from it.
R&R (rest and recuperation) was awesome. I went to NY, which I have always wanted to go see, with a buddy of mine and spent time doing whatever the hell I wanted to and fondly staring a trees of all things. I was looking over the pictures I took and you would be surprised how many were of foliage. I also went to Niagara Falls and took lots of pictures of water and clouds and general landscape photos...... you get so cloud starved after not seeing a single one for 6 months. It rained the first month we were out here and then after that, not a single cloud in the sky, literally.
I had to go back to NC as well to take care of some stuff which ended up turning out to be a huge bust because none of the stuff I thought I had to get done actually had to be taken care of and the stuff I wanted to get done didn't get done because it took all the time I had just to figure out that I didn't have to do the stuff that I was trying to get done in the first place. It was a total wash and a waste of 3 days of my leave, but the drive was really pretty and that's about all I can say about that. Also, I got some really interesting pictures though.
I went to this cowboy bar in Jacksonville, NC called the Tar-Heel. Mostly I just went for the hell of it, thinking that I might get drunk enough to try my hand at some line dancing, which didn't happen unfortunately. But what I did see was that strangest thing I have ever witnessed at a country bar or any other kind of bar I have ever been to. I guess it is some kind of tradition that when a song called "fishing in the dark" or something to that extent is played, all the cowgirls grab a cowboy and head out to the dance floor where they lay their gentlemen on the floor on their backs and proceed to grind on them. It was like watching some kind of ritual sex act. You have to think of about 50 guys all laying on the floor and getting a free lap dance from some girl they probably just met in some tight wranglers, and he doesn't even have to tip her. Looked ridiculous, but made for a great laugh on my part. Couldn't stop laughing a taking pictures like some kind of neurotic tourist, which I guess I was. F'ing hilarious! What's funny is that there is nothing sexual about that song at all.... you and me going fishing in the dark, laying down and looking at the stars or something like that. Anyways, so that was the big hit from ol' J-ville.
I will include in this post many pictures. I took a bunch of Niagara falls, which was absolutely beautiful. I couldn't have gone to NY at a better time. The leaves were gorgeous and the weather was perfect, nice and cool but no need for a jacket. Just what I needed after suffering through a summer out here and literally sweating my ass off. I must have lost a good 15 lbs during Jun and Jul alone. Watch this catch on as some kind of super weight loss program..... go out to Iraq, in 130 degree weather and sit out in the sun for the better portion of the day, and wear 50lbs worth of protective covering and have every inch of your body covered, so there is no way any of the sweat can evaporate and cool your body down. I am waiting for the informercial to come out any day. Maybe it's already out, cleverly disguised as the Marines Corps new recruiting ad.
Still have not smoked, but my will was tested while I was drinking. Use to be that I would smoke about 1/3 of a pack a day before I came out here with the exception being when I drank. Usually I would smoke so much when I drank that the next day I would be so horse I could barely squeak out my request to the waitress at Denny's. (I think that it is just what is done after drinking, you must go to Denny's and order shitty food. It's programmed into our genes as a species or something..... drinking following by under cooked eggs.) So I feel pretty good about that. I am taking pride in my accomplishment.... small victories are sometimes the sweetest. Now if I could just learn how to balance my checkbook and perform general maintenance of my vehicle, I would be so close to perfection it would be unfair to the rest of the mere mortals.
All in all, as you can probably tell by the tone of my post, I am feeling fully refreshed and ready to take on some insurgents...... first step in that battle is sorting through over 200 emails that await me in my work inbox. Then a nap...... traveling for 5 days to get back to a shitty sandbox can really take it out of you. Enjoy the pics and hopefully you should see more posts from here on out now that I am in such a good mood.

Living the American Dream!

2005-08-29T14:17:00.000+04:00

So it has been 1 week since I quit smoking and the bitchiness, mood swings and headaches have subsided so I felt inspired enough to want to write again. Strange how something like that can come to totally dominate your thoughts for a while. I'm better now though :)
My units advanced party has left for home now and it make me realize how much I am going to miss everyone. Some of the people out here have become like family and seeing them go is so sad.... then there are other people who I just can't wait to see go because every moment I was trapped here with them felt like a moment down the drain.... completely useless and I will never get it back. You either grow to love or hate someone when you are exposed to them over a 6 month period of time on an almost 24 hour basis.
I will miss my roommate so much! We have become like best friends and it have been so refreshing after dealing with men all day and having to play the part of Marine and everything that being a Marine entails, that I could come back to my room and just girl talk and giggle with my roommate like I was back home. Just like we were normal everyday girls.... not like someone dressed up and acting like a man which is how I feel sometimes. Like I have my dad's clothes and gear on and I am just playing at being a Marine. Sometimes I look in the mirror once I have all my gear on and I don't recognize myself at all and I think I look like a little boy or something. It's strange. By saying all this I am not meaning that females are not fully capable of what we are tasked with out here.... I am just saying that I don't think it comes naturally to us like it does to men and it just takes some getting use to. After 5 years in the Marine Corps I wonder if I will ever get use to it....
In all the bustling around I have been able to score some good stuff though. I got a new filing cabinet and a printer from someone else that left.... I am waiting for everyone to leave so I can snatch up a good desk chair and then even maybe a new office space... I figure that's just one of the perks I get for extending out here. I get to swoop in and get all the good stuff while the new people are all still wandering around with a confused look on their faces. They are trying to figure out which way to go to get to the chow hall and I will be stealing their mousepad or something. They have a saying.... there is only one thief in the Marine Corps, the rest of us are just trying to get our stuff back :)
Here is a picture of a fountain outside of the Mosque... it really looks out of place because surrounding it is all sorts of barbed wire and barriers because it is near the entry to the CMOC.

Here is a picture of a controlled detonation for mortar rounds and C4. The little bricks laying on top is all C4. This was an absolutely huge det for a Explosive ordinance Marine that I did the reenlistment paperwork for. He wanted a huge explosion behind him while he reenlisted but the det ended up being too big and we had to get about a 1/4 of a mile away for safety reasons. I video taped it and even though we were so far away it still shook the camera and we had to take cover to ensure we didn't get hit by any schrapnel.... it was pretty motivating none the less though....

2005-08-24T13:17:00.000+04:00

Just Kill Me Now...........

Ugghhh..... so begins the second day of quitting smoking. I was too demotivated to write yesterday about it. I have a huge headache and I feel like eating everything in sight which sucks too because it is ruining my diet, which makes me feel worse. I remember vaguely thinking that when I started smoking again it was because I was losing weight and smoking is an appetite suppressant. I know when I decided to quit I had reason as well but they are becoming more and more unclear or currently they sound superfluities. I just want a smoke and I feel like a big baby that wants to crawl into bed and just roll over and die. Fuck Fuck Fuck! I refuse to be dominated by something I guess and once I realized that my love for Marlboro Menthol Lights had turned into an addiction and that where previously I could pick them up and put them back down at my leisure, now I was chained to the pack and needed my morning smoke to function, fight fatigue and the headaches I now get if I go to long without one. They say that it only takes 2 days for the physical addition to go away and after that it's all mental. I figure all I have to do is not go to a smoke pit. No matter how much I want a cigarette, I still have to carry my ass to the nearest smoke pit and bum one since we can't smoke indoors. I have told everyone not to give them to me no matter how much I bitch, but so far I have found that misery loves company and they are more or less flaunting when they decide to go smoke and wave it in my face. I have my gum, fuck them. I think I will sign off now..... there are other things worth writing about but right now I can't think of any........

2005-08-21T10:30:00.000+04:00

I Love Sundays!
I went to church today and Chaplin White was cracking me up with his sermon! I guess you would have to know the guy but he's so corny! He talks with his hands so much and has such exaggerated movements, so when he tells stories he really gets into it and today I thought he would fall off the stage he was waving his arms about so much! You gotta love the Chaplin though just because he's such a great guy. I really just adore everyone at the Chaplains office, or at the "Oasis". They are like my family out here. I love just sitting back at night and smoking a cigar with the ol Chap and hearing him and the Maj's tell old men stories and laugh at each others corny jokes.
So I found a blog I am interested in as you will note from my new favorites list. Really, her blog and all of her friends blog are extremely interesting because they are like narrative stories of their daily events. I guess it's inspiration to make mine more interesting! :)
So here is a picture of me with Chaplin Asher, sporting my cammies and looking sexy as always. I don't know how I have been out in Iraq in 120 degree weather for the last 6 months and I still escaped getting anything even remotely resembling a tan. (sigh...) I think I need to give it up and just embrace my whiteness.

Just as I was posting this, the sound of Artillery being fired overhead once again reminded me of where I am at. Its just not a Sunday morning without arty to wake up whoever has the good fortune of being able to sleep in..... as the windows rattle and your computer monitor buzzes out for a second, you are left with the comforting thought that somewhere out beyond the wall, there is a group of insurgents whos day just got a whole hell of alot worse than yours.

SMILE!!!!!!!!!!! :)

2005-08-19T13:20:00.000+04:00

This is a photo I took while out in the city early one morning. I thought it turned out pretty cool.

So I figured I might want to elaborate on the title. It probably doesn't make sense by it's self but out here everyone understands the significance of that saying. In the movie Groundhog Day, the same day recycles over and over again. The same things happen and he runs into the same people and the only variance is how he reacts. That exactly how it is here. You settle into a routine and before you know it, you think its Fri when really it's Wed of the next week. You feel like you have been here forever and yet you can't seem to keep track of how much time you've actually spent here. It's almost like a feeling of time being distorted. Nothing changes from day to day, there are no weekends to look forward to so everyday is a Monday, and you find yourself marking time by living from one chow break to the next and from Sun Mass to Sat confession. It sounds depressing but it's not really, it's just a general feeling. You feel like you have done all this before and that nothing is changing. In reality, everything is changing constantly. Patrols change their routes, new buildings are built all the time, the units AO may change boundaries. It's hard to describe really why it feels like that to us and yet how untrue the saying actually is. The base is one big machine and as we repeatedly do our menial tasks, the machine slowly but surely moves along, completing objectives and leveling cities in it's wake.
Anyways, I hope that makes sense to someone because I think I just confused myself.
I started looking at other peoples blogs today. I haven't really found one that I find interesting enough to want to stay up to date with but I will plod ahead.....

Better late than never.....

2005-08-19T03:09:00.000+04:00

Ok, so most people start a blog or a journal at the beginning of a deployment, not the middle.... but I guess for me this is like turning a new page. My unit is about to leave and I am staying behind. Sometimes I say to myself...."Self, what the hell were you thinking..." I could be with them right now, attending my warrior transition brief and excitedly planning the various ways I would be getting smashed when I got home. I have 194 days left to go. Thats if we leave Mar 1st. I have my reasons, though sometimes I kick myself for them. If I go home, what do I have waiting for me but an empty apartment, a huge BN at the start of there FY, and many many sleepless nights at the BN trying to get my work done. I didn't save as much as I thought I would, considering the divorce and paying off bills. I dont know. Right now I miss home. I miss my mom and I am worried about the family and how everyone is doing. Catch me on any other day and you might get a different response.
So I dont know how people usually start these things, maybe they tell a little about themselves or something. Maybe I should have read someone elses for a while before I jumped into this :) impetuousness, thy name is Rachel. What can I say, I'm a fly by the seat of my pants type of girl. Geez, I just realized I put a typo in the title of my Blog.... isn't that just like me... hopefully I can fix it.